Thursday, June 27, 2013


I recently moved back into my parents house since I'm of that generation where regardless of how much job experience and education you have, getting an Actual Job is next to impossible. While back at home, I remembered that my parents are extremely eccentric world travelers and that we own a lot of bizarre junk.

I went wow, what if this stuff were all magic items, picked up by a pair of intrepid adventurers? But I'm staggeringly lazy so I don't want to write this. Let's make G+ write it. So every day I took a picture of a weird thing in my house and went hey, what's this do.

Entries have one of the pictures (the originals usually had more just go give a sense of the item) and then responses listed by NAME OF PERSON.

This is a master post for keeping track of stuff. No, this isn't really Jammer Hearts related but it's my fucking blog and also I don't care. Yes, it's really fucking long. No, I don't care.

Monday, February 25, 2013


This list will be updated as I find more classes that fit Jam. I'm also repeating some of the stuff from the Races page since they're racial classes.


Again, hypothetically anything, but here's some that I think fit particularly well:

MAGITEK ENGINEER -- The art of magitek originated with the mysterious Gnomes, who live on great hiveships out in the Lanes Between (e.g., space). They first brought this skill to the people of the kingdom of Radiant Garden centuries ago, whereupon the Gardens became the second greatest power in the galaxy, next to the Eared Empire. Some Imperial citizens have taken up the art, but the vast majority of Magitek Engineers are Human or Gnomish. Magitek Engineers make good livings as ship's mechanics.

MUSCLE WIZARD -- There's actually two flavors of Muscle Wizard -- Dark Knights, who were the secret police of the Kingdom of Radiant Garden, tended to wear a lot of black and are generally brooding fellows who manage their spells and the bonus hitpoints they get from them like the ebbing and flowing of their very souls, man. Dark Knights ALWAYS use knives to channel their spells.
Meanwhile, also in Radiant Garden, there was a pretty swag arcade with some fighting games like Street Fighter and also a magic 3D printing laser that could print anything (or digitize anything), and during the Fall some shit went wrong and now there's random fighting game characters wandering around Traverse.

BLUE MAGES -- Blue Magic is the pinnacle of Radiant magic, one of the truly unique spellcasting schools to come from that fallen place. Blue Mages are tougher, hardier wizards who learn their spells by being hit in the face by them, thus allowing them to learn enemy special abilities.

Other Final Fantasy Classes -- LAAAAAAAAATer


These are better detailed on the Races page, but I'll list 'em here too since THEY ARE ALSO CLASSES

Diving Belle (mermaid/merman)
Christmas Elf
Ghoulies (COMING SOON as I can transcribe Scrap's post)

Thursday, February 14, 2013


The universe of Jammer Hearts is a vast and diverse place, full of thousands of different races. Hypothetically, I could allow just about anything, since the universe is infinite. These are just some of the most common races, or the ones I've bothered to stat up, or that other people have statted up for me.

With the exception of the dwarves of the Enchanted Dominions, and the gnomes of the Lanes Between, the standard races do not exist, and have been replaced by other stuff.

MOST of these races are just races. Some races are actually classes. I'll note when that's the case, and it'll be a link and not a writeup then yee haw.


Are as they are in LL Advanced / 2nd Edition AD&D, except:
  • +1 to a single stat of your choice
Note that Apefolk of the Eared Empire are identical mechanically, because I am completely lazy. 

Humans are the most common race in the cosmos, seemingly native to thousands of disparate worlds, despite this making no sense. There are many theories as to the true origin of their race, but no one can agree on what the truth of the matter might be. In any case, humans are the most diverse and versatile of the races.

Radiant Garden was once the largest human empire, spanning several worlds. Now it is a ruined husk. Many refugees of its once proud remnants are scattered throughout the 'verse.

Other worlds where humans are common:
  • The Enchanted Dominions (fantasy... land)
  • The Land of Dragons (fantasy china)
  • The Olympus Foothills (fantasy greece)
  • The Boundless Blue (fantasy 18th century oceans / islands)
  • Agrabah (fantasy 1001 Arabian Nights... land; like did you ever watch the aladdin cartoon it's that)
  • Tumbleweed (fantasy old west)
  • England (is a planet)
  • Traverse 
  • Twilight
  • Destiny Islands 


The Eared Empire is by far the largest empire in the cosmos, even before the Fall of Radiant Garden. It is full of animal folk. I will update this list as I stat people out. 


Mechanically identical to humans.

Apefolk are a diverse and adaptable lot. They seem as though they could be related to humans, perhaps a different branch on the same evolutionary tree. The common theory of the Empire is that millions of years ago, an ape colony broke off from the Empire and spread through the cosmos like insects, splitting into the clearly inferior human race. 


Birdfolk were mostly hacked from the basic elf, with some modifications.
  • Stats: +1 intelligence, -1 constitution
  • Classes: cleric, fighter, wizard, thief, ranger, fighter/mage, fighter/thief, fighter/mage/thief, or mage/thief
  • Half damage from all falls
  • 1 in 3 chance to “know” a new language they’ve just encountered (as opposed to 1 in 6) 
  • 1 in 6 chance to notice secret doors if in good lighting conditions; 1 in 3 chance if actively searching (due to keen eyesight)
  • +1 bonus to attack rolls with bows and crossbows
Birdfolk are quite intelligent, and have a natural aptitude for magic, but their hollow bones can make them quite frail. Though they’ve lost the ability to fly (trading their wings for hands), they still retain long feathers on their arms and plumed tails, such that by flailing around in the air they can reduce the damage they take from falls. Their keen eyes make it so no detail is lost on them, and make them deadly with ranged weapons. Finally, birdfolk intelligence combined with their ability to mimic the voices of others make them brilliant linguists. 


Bearfolk are mechanically identical to the half-orc race from Advanced Labyrinth Lord. In addition to the listed classes, if you've got a favorite Barbarian style class, they can go up to level 15 in that.

Bearfolk are tall, gruff creatures known for their short tempers as well as their fiercely protective nature.


Catfolk were hacked from the Rakasta race from Savage Coast, and are basically identical but without the messiness of kits. 
  • Stats: +2 dex, -2 wis
  • Classes: Fighter 15, Ranger 11, Wizard 15, Cleric 12, Druid 13, Thief 15, Bard Unlimited
  • Catfolk can only take the following wizard variants: Mage, conjurer, enchanter, illusionist, transmuter
  • Infravision 60’
  • Half damage from falls
  • +4 bonus to detect invisible/ethereal creatures; gets an automatic save when an invisible/ethereal creature is within 10 ft and every round that creature is within 10ft. Knows difference between invisible/ethereal, but gets no special bonuses to locating said creatures, or attacking them.
  • Catfolk take no penalties to fight while blinded, but they still take any penalties to movement and any other actions.
  • All catfolk have Hear Noise as a thief at 20%, even if they are not of the thief class. 
  • -1 penalty against sound-based attacks
  • Racial Thief/Specialist Skill Adjustments: Move Silently +5%, Hide in Shadows +5%, Detect Noise +5% (on top of their racial 20%; so a total of 25%), Climb Walls +5%
Catfolk tend to be both sly and arrogant, and adopt a haughty dignity. Of course, those that spend time with them know that they can be somewhat, shall we say, quirky. Though quite dexterous, catfolk are often a bit lacking in common sense.
Catfolk are varied and wide, ranging from big cats like lionfolk to hairless sphinx cats. Note that foxfolk, for game purposes, have the same stats as catfolk given their smaller size and craftier natures. 

Catfolk get along poorly with just about every other race. Many of them find dogfolk intimidating (and dogfolk find them untrustworthy), while almost everyone else exists to be duped or preyed upon. Cowfolk they have no opinion on, and nobody messes with bearfolk. 


Dogfolk are identical to the lupine race from Savage Coast, but without the kit bullshit.
  • Stats: +1 Str, +1 Con, -1 Int, -1 Wis
  • Classes: Fighter (13), Ranger (Unlimited), Wizard* (12), Cleric (15), Druid (13), Thief (13), Bard (9)
    • Dogfolk can only take the following Wizard variants: Mage, diviner, abjurer, invoker, necromancer
  • Infravision: 60’
  • Recognize Werewolves: 99% chance
  • Recognize Transformed Dogfolk: 15% chance
  • +4 bonus to detect invisible/ethereal creatures; gets an automatic save when an invisible/ethereal creature is within 10 ft and every round that creature is within 10ft. Knows difference between invisible/ethereal, but gets no special bonuses to locating said creatures, or attacking them.
  • Dogfolk take no penalties to fight while blinded, but they still take any penalties to movement and any other actions. 
  • Dogfolk can track scents by rolling under 2+ their Wisdom score; note that rolling a 20 is an automatic failure. 
  • Dogfolk can recognize people by scent by rolling under their Intelligence; they get a -1-4 penalty if that person has taken extra precautions to mask their scent.
  • Dogfolk get a -2 penalty to saves against odor and sound based attacks (eg, stinking cloud, wail of the banshee) 
  • Wolfsbane is deadly to dogfolk. Wolfsbane ingested by dogfolk acts as Type J poison (a failed saving throw indicates death, while success indicates a loss of 20 hit points). Fortunately, the keen senses of dogfolk nearly always alert it in time to avoid ingesting the substance. If wolfsbane is somehow injected into a dogfolk's bloodstream, it acts as Type P poison (a failed saving throw causes a 50% drop in all ability scores for 1d3 days).
  • Racial Thief/Specialist Skill Adjustments: Find/Remove Traps +5%, Detect Noise 20%, Climb Walls -5%

Dogfolk are generally friendly and easygoing types, but not always the brightest bulbs in the box. Once their friendship is won, they are unshakably loyal. They are also excellent trackers and hunters, able to follow individuals for miles. Their sense of smell is nigh supernatural.

The Dogfolk race covers a wide range of types, from those that seem like domestic dogs to coyotes and wolves. 

Mousefolk (and Rat and Rabbitfolk)

Mousefolk are mechanically identical to Advanced Labyrinth Lord Halflings, save where noted:

  • City Mouse / Country Mouse: At the player's option, the 90% chance to hide in wilderness can be dropped for a 90% chance to hide in an urban environment, such as a loud bustling crowd or down an alley filled with trashcans. This must be decided at character creation and cannot be changed. Rabbitfolk ONLY have wilderness hiding, while Ratfolk ONLY have City hiding. 
  • Use the level limitations from 2nd Edition rather than LL; that is, Mousefolk and Rabbitfolk can also take the Cleric class. 

Mousefolk are fond of basic comforts, free time, good food, and good drink. They're curious and friendly, though prone to being startled.
Ratfolk, though mechanically identical, are reviled and despised by the larger populace of the Empire.


Dwarves use the racial class as described in Labyrinth Lord Core Rules. 

Dwarves hail exclusively from the Enchanted Dominions. They are the dying remnants of a once ancient and proud race; the ruins of their once great halls can be found throughout the Enchanted Dominions. Only a few are populated. For this reason, few dwarves ever leave their homeland, and those that do tend to be a certain type of fellow. Dwarven society is very close knit and based on ties of kinship and family; they have very rigid laws and rules. Recently, a group called the Seven, the last seven remnants of a dying clan, have befriended the princess and ruler of one of the larger kingdoms, Princess Snow White. They saved her life from the previous ruler, a corrupt and evil queen, and in turn she keeps them on as advisers and confidantes. The other dwarven clans have mixed feelings on this: some see it as an opportunity to revive their dying race, while others see the Seven as kowtowing traitors. 


All elves are Christmas Elves. Those are the only elves that exist. There's some people who claim that once there were elves in the Enchanted Dominions, but they're all dead now. Whatever. Christmas Elves.

They're exactly as described in that link, and their homeland is Christmas Town, a ball of snow and ice in the Holiday Cluster. Their ruler, Saint Nick, has developed a reality warping device that -- you know how santa works jeeze the point is that he can get places fast. Also he's a total badass


Mermaids hail from the Boundless Blue, a planet composed mostly of water and tiny islands. They rule the seas, while humans have a fairly separate existence on land. Mermaids almost never leave the safety of their ocean, but, well, strange times. 



Scrap Princess helped make these guys and I'll post them later. Basically:

Halloween Town is one of the Holiday Worlds, a dark and foreboding place of graveyards and eternal night. Despite this creepy atmosphere, the inhabitants are friendly and fond of partying. This is where vampires, skeletors, ghouls, ghosts, werewolves, etc hangout, except most of them are neutral or even good. Ghoulies are the class these guys take, an undead class focused on being entertaining singing and dancing dudes. 


All Gnomes use the Tinker Gnome variant. I will link to that later (if someone has a good link to ones that have the tinkering ability please do link me to it). They also look more like the Asura from Guild Wars 2 as I like that design better. Also, in addition to their normal class restrictions, they can take the Magitek Engineer class, and advance as far as they please in said class. 

Gnomes have no homeland. While some can be found on Traverse, most sail the galaxy in huge hiveships, which are almost living worlds in and of themselves. Few gnomes remember having a homeworld, though it's said that the very oldest, in their lucid moments, can recall something about a colossal clockwork marvel built in the stone heart of a steamy jungle world. 

Gnomes are magiteknical geniuses, with the wonders they create rivaling even what Radiant Garden was capable of. Much of their old tech was lost. It's said that you can find actual gnomish ruins on distant asteroids at the edge of the galaxy, and that there are ancient gnomish ruins in the heart of the tangle that is Traverse. 

Gnomes have a very tense relationship with the illithids that seems to go far beyond the expected rivalry between two nomadic trading cultures. Neither side, however, can remember why that is. 

Friday, February 1, 2013



Here’s what the average person knows of the larger motions of the universe at present, if they pay a lick of attention to the news and don't live on a total backwater world. 

For the past hundred years, there had been peace, a practical golden age—at least, that’s what the Empire’s propagandists would want you to believe. For five hundred years prior the Eared Empire had spread using their candy-ships and ability to use magic to phase through the previously impenetrable Crystal Spheres protecting worlds into the astral sea beyond, and they had begun to conquer worlds. Usually they did so peacefully, offering trade and technology in exchange for loyalty. Sometimes there was violence, but this was always covered up later, the historians re-writing it to make the Empire seem peaceful.

There were dissidents, of course; the tiny outpost of Traverse Town, a mere asteroid, was a haven for criminal scum seeking a way to avoid the Empire.

A hundred years ago, a second power arrived on the scene—Radiant Garden. The Garden had a vastly different kind of technology, based on charged crystal cores and ships with mithiril hulls. At first, they fought mightily with the Empire, a bloody conflict that even Imperial propagandists could not cover up, but eventually they came to an uneasy peace The Garden spread throughout its own space, conquering much as the Empire had, and eventually the two nations came to an understanding, even trading with each other.

Ten years ago, everything changed.

The Garden had reached a peak of unprecedented prosperity and glory, with their scientist-king, Ansem the Wise, ruling over it all with a gentle hand and wise heart. The truce between the Empire and the Garden had gone from uneasy to truly friendly alliance, thanks to a budding friendship between King Mortimer of the Empire and King Ansem. The Empire under Mortimer’s hand had even begun to slow its colonization efforts.

Then, on one horrific, bloody day, the Garden ceased to exist.

The survivors of the destruction tell it this way: they were uneasy for the whole year before. People had been disappearing at an alarming rate, first criminals, then servants, then many people. Ansem had vowed to find the source of these vanishings, but nothing ever came of it. Then on that day the ground split, the sky darkened, and a huge black dragon’s wings blotted out the sky. From the cracks in the earth poured black shadowy creatures the likes of which had never been seen. They set upon the people of Radiant Garden and tore out their hearts, and grew stronger, while more black beasts poured from the hole in their corpses and those corpses turned to white ash. Far out in the fleet, pilots reported more of the beasts chewing away at the Crystal Sphere, previously thought to be indestructible. Though the military of the Garden fought bravely, they were not enough to stop the Garden from falling into darkness. Eventually, the whole planet shook itself to pieces, whole shards falling into black portals, and the castle which dominated the skyline of the capital city became twisted and misshapen, a mere shell of what it once was—a Hollow Bastion. The corruption spread to the colony worlds, with thousands more dying on that awful day. Ansem the Wise was dead; his heart devoured by the beasts.

Different parties were blamed. Some said it was the Empire, finally eliminating their only true rival; others pointed to the black dragon, it had to have been Maleficent’s doing. Others said that it was divine punishment for hubris. Whatever the cause, the Garden was gone… and then things got worse.

The Heartless plague spread like wildfire. Countless worlds were destroyed, billions died, before roaming Gnomish wizards found protective spells and barriers that could hold the beasts off for a time. King Mortimer vanished, leaving his queen behind; she was discredited when she continued to defend Mortimer’s actions, saying that he had gone in search of a powerful magic to save them all. Now the Empire itself is divided into two factions: Queen Millicent, who believes that Mortimer will return to save them all, and Reagent Percy, who sits on the Eared Throne in Mortimer’s stead, who holds that the King has abandoned his people, and that brutal and swift action is what is needed to end the Heartless threat.
Meanwhile, Traverse Town has become instead simply Traverse, as it was discovered that when a world dies, fragments of it appear in the area, fusing into each other into a strange and twisted city of nonsensical proportions. It is a refugee shantytown free of all laws, where businessmen can operate without the eyes of the Empire upon them… or where heroes can rise to the task of saving us all.

There are rumors that the Enchanted Three--that is, the three Princesses of the Enchanted Dominions, an autonomous colony world affiliated with the Empire—may hold part of the key to saving the world, that they may be three of the fabled Seven Princesses of Purest Heart. But that’s only a legend…

Just as the Keyblade Masters, ancient warriors of a lost order, are surely mere myth. There are no ancient weapons which were held against the Darkness in the past, and they will not appear again. Surely…

Monday, January 21, 2013

Disney-Style Gargoyle Race-Class

One thousand years ago, superstition and the sword ruled.
It was a time of darkness. It was a world of fear.
It was the age of gargoyles.
Stone by day, warriors by night, we were betrayed by the humans we had sworn to protect, frozen in stone by a magic spell for a thousand years.
Now, here in Manhattan, the spell is broken, and we live again!
We are defenders of the night!

image source: digitaltofu at deviantart

This is a Gargoyles PC Race-Class suitable for use in OSR games (AD&D, LL, LotfP, etc). It is based on the 90s Disney TV show of the same name, which is fucking awesome and go watch it RIGHT NOW if you haven't already. 

You can scroll down to the bottom of the page to see how they fit specifically in to the Jammer Hearts universe, but they're designed to be used pretty much anywhere you like.

This is currently a draft: I welcome feedback, always! 

I also owe a debt to Robert Parker for his Fallarin race; I pretty much cribbed his flight rules wholesale. 

Requirements: STR 16, CON 12
Prime Requisite: STR
Hit Dice: 1d6
Maximum Level: 12

Experience Level Abilities Breath Weapon Poison/Death Petrify/Paralyze Wands Spells/Spell-like abilities
0 1 Fly 20ft, stone sleep, sharp claws, tough hide, ignore first 30 ft of fall damage 15 12 14 13 16
2750 2 15 12 14 13 16
5500 3
15 12 14 13 16
12000 4 Fly 40 ft; ignore 50 ft of fall damage if unburdened 13 10 12 11 14
24000 5
13 10 12 11 14
45000 6 13 10 12 11 14
95000 7
9 8 10 9 12
175000 8 fly 60 ft; ignore 70 ft of fall damage if unburdened  9 8 10 9 12
350000 9
9 8 10 9 12
700000 10 7 6 8 7 10
1050000 11
7 6 8 7 10
1400000 12 fly 80 ft; ignore all falling damage if unburdened  7 6 8 7 10

Gargoyles are tall humanoid creatures with wings, horns, fangs, and claws. They generally stand anywhere from 5 to 8 feet tall, with the average being around 6 feet 5 inches. They do not so much fly as glide very effectively, almost simulating flight. During the day, gargoyles turn into stone statues, which leaves them vulnerable; they can resist this for a time, but not for long. Though intelligent, they tend to live in small clans, and are not builders.

Gargoyle culture eschews the use of traditional weapons; a sharp claw and stout heart is all a true warrior should need. Furthermore, gargoyle claws are large and sharp, and not terribly suited to holding weapons.

Gargoyles CAN wear armor, but they prefer not to, as armor can severely impede their gliding abilities, and their natural armor is generally suitable. Furthermore, a gargoyle's unusual body type and the fact that their people are not generally craftsmen means that armor in their shape are hard to come by. A skilled blacksmith can reshape armor to suit a gargoyle, but it costs 2x the base cost of the armor.

Flight: Though they have powerful wings, gargoyles are still quite heavy and cannot fly for very long. They can only carry half their carrying capacity while in the air (including armor). As long as they are wearing chainmail or less, gargoyles ignore the first 30 ft of any fall and can move their speed horizontally while falling; if completely unburdened, this distance increases greatly, at about 20 feet per four levels. This ability does not function if the gargoyle is unconscious, paralyzed, or turned to stone. Furthermore, the gargoyle may fly up to 20 feet per four levels, but they must land at the end of their turn. Finally, flying (rather than gliding from a great height by using their ignore falling damage ability) is exhausting, and if a gargoyle does not take a full turn to rest after flight, each additional flight requires a save vs paralysis with a bonus to their roll equal to their Constitution score, or they fall prone.

Gargoyles cannot fly wearing anything heavier than half plate. If wearing chainmail, their flight distance is reduced by 10 feet; in half plate, by 20 feet. In chainmail, they can only ignore the first 30 feet of a fall regardless of level; in half-plate, they can only ignore 20 feet (eg, they can only glide that distance).

Sharp Claws: Gargoyle claws are natural weapons. A gargoyle can attack with both claws at +1 to hit; this attack deals 2d4 points of damage, but they need to use both hands to do so; that said, they're so quick that this counts as a single attack. A gargoyle can attack with a single claw to do 1d4 points of damage.

Tough Hide: Gargoyles naturally have AC 8 in descending / 12 in ascending. This armor does NOT stack with nonmagical wearable armor; ie, if a gargoyle puts on padded or leather armor, this will not make their armor better. Chainmail, half plate, and shields, however, do improve their armor. They still get any bonuses from dexterity, and any enchantments on armor still work for them.

Stone Sleep: The gargoyle's greatest weakness is that at dawn, they turn to stone, as per the flesh to stone spell, with no save. At dusk, they return to their flesh form, shattering a thin shell of stone off their bodies. This also applies to any objects the gargoyle carries (though not to living creatures it is holding). The gargoyle need not be exposed to sunlight for this to occur; even deep underground, a gargoyle is so in tune with the cycles of light and darkness that they turn to stone. This is even the case on worlds with extremely dim or almost invisible suns, such as Traverse. On worlds with perpetual night, gargoyles will still be subject to a cycle; instead of moving with the sun, however, they'll simply lock into an 8 hours stone / 16 hours flesh cycle that synchronizes with any other gargoyles nearby. While in this state, a gargoyle is especially vulnerable: if smashed or if vital organs are removed, the gargoyle will never revert to flesh form.

A gargoyle can resist turning to stone by making a constitution check every hour after sunrise. Each cumulative hour forces them to treat their constitution score as though it were 1 point lower (eg, a -1 penalty) until they either turn to stone or dusk arrives. If a gargoyle resists turning to stone for a full day, they begin to take penalties as per sleep deprivation (however that works in your game) until they take a full day's stone sleep.

They do have one minor advantage over others: stone sleep heals 1d4 + constitution modifier hit points naturally. Permanent damage, such as missing eyes or limbs, cannot be healed save by magical means.

Stone-to-Flesh spells can awaken a gargoyle, but they will have to make constitution checks every hour to stay flesh during the day. If Stone-to-Flesh is used repeatedly to keep a gargoyle flesh throughout the day, they will still begin to take penalties as per sleep deprivation (just as a human who had been woken repeatedly throughout the night would) 


Much as in the plot of the show, the gargoyles were an ancient race which by contract defended certain human clans. In ancient Scotland, one gargoyle clan was betrayed by their human charges, murdered while they slept in stone form in the sunlight. The six surviving members were cursed to remain stone even at night, until their castle rose above the clouds.

A thousand years later, an ambitious entrepreneur  technologist, and transhumanist, David Xanatos, sought to break the curse, placing the castle atop his enormous skyscraper, such that it rose "above the clouds," fulfilling the conditions and breaking the curse. The gargoyles' philosophy, however, was at odds with Xanatos' ambitions, and they fled with the aid of a human police officer, Elisa Maza. 

In Jammer Hearts, Demona, a mad gargoyle bent on the destruction of the human race, used the Heartless about seven years ago to destroy their homeworld. Now, most gargoyles find themselves refugees on the city-planet of Traverse. On the bright side, they've discovered that their clan were not the only surviving gargoyles -- many others, from Japan, Paris, London, Cairo, Moscow, Mexico City, Avalon, and other places across the planet, have found themselves wandering Traverse's streets. They have formed new lives, and some younger Gargoyles have grown up entirely in the shadow of Traverse's spires.